Intimacy. Being a helpmate for your spouse will most certainly increase intimacy levels.
i get it!
You’re too tired to do anything for yourself much less do something for someone else. But here’s the thing, your spouse isn’t just someone else.
Your spouse is your lover, your friend, your life partner, your helpmate!
In some marriages, both couples work outside the home. And sometimes both spouses have crazy or conflicting work schedules. One person may get home from work while the other person is walking out the door going to work.
In some marriages, only one spouse works outside the home. In these situations, the at home spouse often feels unappreciated. Although the at home spouse may not earn a paycheck, they still have a job caring for the home and/or children.
Sometimes the spouse who is leaving waits for the arriving spouse to simply get a hug, a kiss, or as least have a mini-conversation. But, situations happen and the leaving for work spouse can’t wait – maybe they want to avoid traffic, can’t afford to be late again, or any other reason.
On the other hand, one person may get home in the wee hours of the morning while one spouse is sound sleep. Because of that, the spouse may not wake up until well after the other has gone to work.
believe me, i get it!
My husband is a fireman and works part-time at a local hospital. There have been days he has come home to the kids sleeping and me barely awake – attempting to wait up for him to at least have some time together.
“Doing nothing for others is the undoing of ourselves.”
horace mann
There have been days he is on his way home from the hospital and I am half-way to work. There have also been days when I’m getting home from work and he is walking out the door to go to the hospital.
We both work full time jobs and are parents to three children. One of our marriage vows was to be each others helpmate. We value each other, our vows and commitment to one another and in this post, I share why and how we make it work.
so, i get it!
In most situations, there is nothing you can do about your work schedule. Nevertheless, it IS possible to be a helpmate through your exhaustion. One example is when you’d rather spend time with your spouse but you have to clean the house. Girl! Get somebody else to do it. That’s what I do and this post explains how.
The love of my life is just that – the love of my LIFE. I know that marriage requires sacrifice – even when I don’t want to or feel like helping. I also know that because of our work schedules, we have to be creative with our quality time.
Being a helpmate for my husband brings me joy. I know how it feels to receive help. Like the saying goes, “It’s better to give than to receive.” Give help to your spouse – even in your exhaustion. Your marriage, and of course your spouse will you thank you for it.
How are you a helpmate to your spouse?
I love this so much! My husband and I have definitely had those times you describe… it can be so hard when we hardly see each other. When we do have just a few hours, I have loved coming home to him making dinner or cleaning the dishes. I like giving him foot rubs before bed 🙂 I couldn’t agree more with this post!
In those moments when you do see each other, make it count. Dedicate at least a guaranteed 20 minutes a day – no distractions – just you and him. Even if its just sitting on the sofa and holding each other, taking a quick 5 minute shower together, sitting in the car and talking for a few before one of you goes to work, texting throughout the day, anything. Every minute counts. And, just like you like coming home to him making dinner or cleaning the dishes I’m sure he equally loves those foot rubs before bed.
Beautifully written. To often we forget the why we married., love and honor was part of my vows. One way I have learned to do that is to know my husbands love language. His is service, so if I sweep off the porch, cook a nice dinner, those speak love to him. He knows my love language which is touch. Reaching out to hold my hand or to rub my shoulders lets me know he cares for me.
Thank you for the compliment! A few ladies I work with mentioned “love language”. I have been wanting my husband and I to do that. We have been together for 23 years and one can conclude that we know each other – and we do but, learning each other more as we continue to grow in ourselves and in our marriage will make us all that much stronger. And, he and I communicate differently (man vs woman) so I know the “love language” will be powerful for us!
I’ve been thinking about this lately in my own marriage. After having a baby it seems we’re both just so exhausted and neither really helps the other. We got into our routines and almost forgot what it means to truly be partners in life. We’re working on getting back to that. Great post reminding that even if you’re tired, it’s worth it and you’ll both be happier.
Congrats on your baby! Thank you for stopping by. I understand how the routine of tending to a little one can be. When I get home from work, I sit in the car for about 10 minutes to reenergize before going inside to be a helpmate. Before I go to work, I try to do the small things for my husband – leaving his fire bag by the back door so all he has to do is grab and go; laying out the supplies he needs to pack his lunch giving him one less step to do; pulling the covers back and fluffing the pillows after a long night at the hospital. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy.
This a great reminder us to not get caught up in our own day-to-day! I try take care of all the mail/bills since he hates paperwork and works long hours outside the home.
Sandra, it is SO incredibly easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and forgot about our family and even ourselves. Like you, I too take care of all the bills. What other ways are you a helpmate for your spouse?